~~~
I thought everything was perfect
When I was a kid
My friends, my family
But then I blew off a lid.
~~~
Demons flew in
Happy to destroy
It was nightmare
It took my joy.
~~~
I fought and battled
They invaded my brain
There was a blur of red
I could have gone insane.
~~~
One day I let in
Admitted defeat
Broke down and cried
My torment was complete.
~~~
They left me alone
From that day on
They were the king and queen
I was the pawn.
~~~
But I changed in a way
I can't explain
Older and wiser
It's my turn to complain.
~~~
I lost some time
Special in one's life
Hey why demons
Why not a knife?
~~~
It would have been over
Kaput and done
Now I have a scar
And it weighs a tonne.
~~~
Now I'm more like a kid
But too wise to tell
Two sides of me
Two sides of the shell.
~~~
One side lies in shadow
The other a blossom
I need to build it back up
That would be awesome.
~~~
Now that story
May have made you cry
This one will hurt more
I'll make it, I'll try.
~~~
Those who I thought
Would always protect me
Use it as a weapon
They think it's the key.
~~~
They think if I see it
I let them break in
That's not how it is
I just stick out my chin.
~~~
I put up a barrier
They can not break
I portray it with energy
All I can take.
~~~
Why must they show me
In their shiny glass ball
All the things that have happened
Which I hate to recall.
~~~
Don't they know it hurts
To face the past
How long will they do it
How long will it last?
~~~
Now that I'm different
Now that I'm strong
This change has put me
Where I belong.
~~~
Do they understand
What goes on in my head
If they did
Would I find myself dead?
~~~
I like to ponder
I think too hard
But if I stop
Will it change my card?
~~~
In my own little world
I meet new people there
I laugh with them
Without a care.
~~~
But in reality
I feel alone
I don't fit in
To what society has sewn.
~~~
Even in my kingdom
I don't bow to the throne
Everyday I step
Into the unknown.
~~~
But I know one day
When I can be some one I'm not
I know all this stuff
Will not be forgot.
Dedicated to me
By Ruth.
May 18 1998